It isn’t official but if you follow me on Dayre, you would have known by now that Roy and I are in a very, very rocky state. And it seems we can’t do anything much to salvage the situation.
It could be that our relationship went past the expiry date. It could be all the lack of communication between us. It could be all the distance you travelled away from me. It could be all the nights we didn’t talk, where I lazed in bed waiting for you to come snuggle up with me but because business is your first priority, you spent sleepless nights in front of the computer in the living room instead. It could be that we got too comfortable with each other that you stopped caressing my body. It could be that you got sick of me that you didn’t find me beautiful anymore. It could be that you thought I would never leave so you took me for granted. It could be so many things, but we could never be the same again.
Things are hard now and I just have to wait for time to heal all wounds. I’m still waiting. Or perhaps I actually hold a slight glimmer of hope for you to hold me again. Ha but no, I’d rather not have any expectations.
Would like to share this article I chanced upon earlier:
I sit there next to her, rubbing her back, as she’s sobbing on her bed. I tell her everything will be okay, but I’m not sure it really will be. Tears are pouring down her face and she can barely put together a sentence. I hate seeing her like this because she doesn’t deserve it. She lifts her head slightly up out of her hands and looks at me. She doesn’t understand how he isn’t sure if he loves her back.
She loves him so much. You can tell in the way she talks about him. The way she says his name. You can tell by the way she says, “I love you” over the phone and the way her eyes light up when he texts her.
But he doesn’t know if he loves her and it’s slowly killing her.
She doesn’t want to let him go, it’s been so long and she still insanely in love with him. She isn’t comfortable or settling, her heart still aches for him.
But he doesn’t know if he’s still in love with her.
He doesn’t compliment her or act like she’s one of the most important things in his world. He doesn’t support her or cherish her. He doesn’t brag about her to his friends, and he should. He should do all those things and more. Instead he acts uninterested. He acts like he doesn’t care. He acts like it wouldn’t matter if she were in his life or not. But he won’t let her go.
It’s not just breaking her heart, it’s breaking mine. You can only tell someone they deserve better so many times. But it’s not my life and it’s not my heart that’s passionately in love with someone who doesn’t know if they love you back, and that’s the hardest part.
If he doesn’t love the way her face lights up with she finds out exciting news, he should let her go. If he doesn’t love the way she mumbles the wrong words to her favorite song, let her go. If he doesn’t love the way her hair falls naturally, let her ago. If you don’t take pride in her work, let her go. If you don’t feel inspired when you roll over at 5 a.m. and see her, he should let her go.
She deserves so much more than that.
She deserves someone who will love how she laughs so hard she’ll cry. Someone who will love her so deeply that his heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest. Someone who laughs with her when she burns dinner for the second night in a row and decides pizza is better anyways. Someone who knows she’s smiling when she’s covering her mouth just by looking at her eyes.
If you can’t love her whole-heartedly all the time, let her go, because someone else will.
Someone will love the way she scrunches her nose and the look she gives when she wants to go home. Someone will love listening to her stories she tells at the end of her day. Someone will love helping her accomplish her goals and standing by her side when she succeeds. Someone will love the way she is happy and wants him there, but also love the way she is sad and needs him there.
Don’t be selfish with her, because she deserves so much more than that. Being with someone you don’t love is cruel, especially when you know she loves you. It’s holding her back from being free and finding real love. It’s holding her back from growing as a person and making herself happy. It’s holding her back from moving on.
Show her how much you love her when you’re with her, not when she’s moved on.
Because someone will love how the sound of her voice makes his bad day disappear. Someone will love hearing her name in conversation. Someone will want her being the last person he sees at night when he goes to sleep and the first person he sees when he wakes up in the morning. Someone will be proud to show her off. Someone will love her every second of everyday.
Someone will love her for her.